They tell us, “men don’t cry”, but the tribute to Dr Herbert O. Wigwe opened me up to something just remarkable – HRH Sanusi Lamido Sanusi gave his opening statement amidst tears.
HRH said something along this line, “When you miss just one of those people, they leave a vacuum in your life”, and just couldn’t help but reference the death of Herbert in this publication.
I’ve read a few thoughts stemming from Herbert’s tribute, I read somewhere that;
“We all need friends like Herbert Wigwe and … . Not necessarily about the money or influence, just men who are fiercely loyal and available. ‘May we see and enjoy the company of men like you in our day.’”
I also read;
“This month, reflect on friendship. Identify those who take and never give and separate them from those who are happy to give even in scarcity. Set your circle unapologetically. Give time and attention to the friends who are available and present when you need them.”
And I saw this somewhere;
“I was watching snippets of the tribute on Herbert Wigwe, and I kept wondering how one man could have done so much for so many people in just 57 years. Across religious and ideological divides, this man had massively invested in relationship. He did not even live long enough to reap all those fruits.
… the need to leverage and build lasting connections, not solely for personal gains but because it’s what makes us human. … Friends who hit you up with opportunity and always have you in mind. People who you lose and win together with, because it’s not you versus them, but you all against life. And it has taken some time to get used to such quality people.”
It so happened that I’ve been reflecting so much on the word ‘friend’ this week, no wonder, getting to know about the tributes to Herbert made so much sense to me.
I was with a friend just yesterday and she said something along this line, “what happened to me that I’ve been posting so much about friendship these days?”. Looking at my life, I’m so much grateful for the gift of friends, friends who fight (or try to fight) the same battles as I do; against life itself. Friends who in their little ways are now mirror images of Herbert to me.
I seen the title 'friend’ been abused, ridiculed, and dragged straight into the mud. I can't judge people's experiences but I still remain resolute on what or who a friend is. Like I said one time, there are no bad friends.
A friend is define to be 'a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection'. And by mutual, it has to be 'experienced or done by each of two or more parties towards the other or others.' A
nyone you decide to call a friend, has to be a person who has a strong liking for and trust in you (and vice versa), or a person who is not your enemy - as much as you're not an enemy too.
At this point, if I'm being asked of what the true meaning of a friend is, I've got just one word. HERBERT!
These are excerpt comments of the tribute of HRH to Herbert;
“We achieved in 5 years what we could achieve in 20 years, and I and Herbert were keys to that.”
“Herbert, I’m placing you in charge of this trust for the education of my children because I know that even if I die and I didn’t not leave any money you will educate my children – I was thinking I will die and leave Herbert.”
“We’ve all heard about him, about his loyalty.”
“And he said to me, ’your highness don’t worry, whatever happens, don’t worry, we are hear for you.’”
“The announcement was made at about 9am, by noon, Herbert had a plane on the tarmac in Kano.”
Whomever (or whatever) that made HRH cry before the whole world, that deserves to be looked into. I kept wondering, who Herbert was to merit all that was said about him. And I've come to the mind conclusion that, Herbert wasn't a recon force, he was a force you reckon with as well.
Herbert has earned his place. Everyone who spoke about him, spoke about a man who earned every name he was referenced with. Time has truly revealed who he was, a life lived for the past 57 years echoes from yonder saying "I am Herbert".
Image source: unknown
The Wigwe's are being laid to rest today, 6 feet below, but their legacy lives on.
When you meet a Herbert in your lifetime, you'll need no compulsion to know you've found a friend, the ones you loose and they leave you empty.
It is said, 'be the change you seek'. I've experienced rich friendships, but I still want more, I want HERBERTS in my life. So I'll be a Herbert myself.
When I eventually pass on, I'll want my friends to know I am still a friend even from beyond.
HRH closed his tribute speech saying,
“I’m grateful to God, that he left knowing that he had a friend”.
The goal is not to have friends, it is to become one. It is one thing to have FRIENDS, it's a completely different thing to be a FRIEND.
I wish we all enjoy friends just like us.
BECOME A HERBERT!
Ps: I apologize for publishing this late, Nigeria had its grip on me. But I figured, better late than never.